Back Into The Ghetto - A New Song

When I say that nobody would be curious about the things I write, this is exactly what I mean. For all the cheats in terms of rhyming, metric schemes, and grammar, and for all the excessively dry polemic, this is the best song I've ever written. But it's half in Yiddish, and it requires a Waste Land type of guide in order to help most people understand it (see below). Those who do understand it, after correcting the finer points of the Yiddish grammar I've forgotten since I was a small boy, would probably tell me this song is anti-semitic. 

So here it is, the best song I've ever written:





To the tune of Chussen Kala Mazel Tov


Zo du geyst back into de ghetto mit a freylich herz
Und all der verk it’s gone to vaste to get you outa der
Ven Hitler’s back he’ll know for ver tzu look far you und mir
Zey got you out du tukhes lekker gonif schmuck.

Far all ze’er lives zey had to tip-toe mit a greycer schmertz
And all der alter kockers told them zey hot nicht a prayer
Tzu macht du mer den just a foyler schnook mit no career
A zhid needs more den shkutzes’ kuck und fallen luck.

Und deine girlfriend she hot vanted you tzu be a goy
Und eat dein tuna fish mit-out der crust und rye
But dein mishpoche zogt neyn zo it took about a year
Den you became hagodl narish frummer schvantz.

Ve tsu vil vanted you to be a real nice Jewish boy
Tzu be a cardiologist mit bills so high
But ven ve heard vat our sohn did ve vould rather had a qveer
dan a schmegeg’ who vouldn’t eat our food just vonce.

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Und dein complaints about our lives are such geferlekh bull
Gemacht dein tzorn against dein yerushe du b’emes von’t
Did you expect us tzu fall on our knees and azay kvell
Ven you reduce your biltung to some kleyner crumbs

Ve’re rich and spoilt you tell us cuz ve never go tzu shul
Und du hast people pray for us because ve don’t
Und yet you take our money hent-iber-fist tzu feed dein kinder vell
So you can study Toyreh till Moshiach kommt.



You tell us dat ve macht an ayn hore mit our every vort
Und dat ve’ll hound you cuz ve’re critics half tzu death
Und den you join a fucking cult mit a Shabtzkiveynik Rebb'
Und ve’re apikorsim till die end of time.

Und now du machts a ze’er gevalt far every time ve snort
Und ven ve’re in dein heuse ve’re scared to take a breath
Ist deine cult mischpoche better den dein alter spider veb
Vhich you called our heym in vhich you lived far dimes.

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Ve vorked two hundred years tzu get out from ze ghetto
Ve outlived vars, pogroms, und riots all our lives
Vhen ve came tzu Amerike tzo macht a greycer life for you
Ve said religion vould not be our eyntsik firer

Du hast aroysgevorf our hopes just far dein ego
You vant tzu macht us break out in a bunch of hives
Und for der suffering dein kids vill have you just don’t have a clue
Du fucking schmendrick. A chalerya af dir!

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far: for
dein: your
du: you
tzu: to
freylich herz: joyful heart
tukhes lekker: asslicker
gonif: thief
schmuck: ejaculate on the tip of a penis
greycer schmertz: great sorrow
alter kockers: old shitters
foyler schnook: foolish sucker
zhid: derogatory Russian term for Jew
shkutzes: derogatory term among Jews for non-Jewish males
kuck und fallen: shit and fall over it
mispoche: family
hagodl: the great
narish: simple-minded
frummer: orthodox Jew
schvantz: dick
schmegegge: contemptible idiot
geferlekh: terrible
Gemacht: finish
tzorn: wrath
yerushe: birthright, inheritance
azay: really
kvell: to cry out of pride
biltung: education, upbringing
kleyner: small
hent-iber-fist: hand over fist
Toyreh: Torah
Moshiach: Messiah
Ayn hore: Evil Eye
vort: word
Shabtzkiveynik: False Prophet
Rebbe: Rabbi
Apikorsim: Heretics
a ze’er gevalt: a huge scene, a terrible woe
mishpoche: family
heym: home
greycer: greater
eyntsik:only
firer: guide
aroysgevorf: thrown over
schmendrik: idiot, dumbassA chaleriya af dir: A cholera on you!